Am I really that sick?
Last week a young man was sitting in my office. He’s a young college man, about 19 years of age and seems to have everything in the world going for him. He has exceptional good looks, great health, intelligence, and before long will have a college degree. So what’s wrong? He’s also addicted to porn and says that it’s been a problem for him for the past eight years. According to his story, he’s tried to break this habit on numerous occassions. He’s made numerous promises to God and himself, stopped cold turkey a number of times, and once talked with a youth pastor. Because he’s a religious guy, he feels miserable and believes that he’s let God down. I asked him if he’d ever thought about joining a support group. He replied, “I have, but I’m not sure I really belong, I don’t think I’m as sick as they are.” I think every person who has ever fought an addiction can relate to the statement of that young man. To us our addiction is more of a pesky problem than a serious illness of the soul. Denial keeps us from admitting we have a problem and doing what we need to do in order to get better. Read more
My Story by freeNChrist
Early Beginnings
The sexuality in my family is a little vague but I do know that there is some dysfunction at least two generations deep. My Grandmother on my fathers side had slept with various men while married and otherwise. She left my biological grandfather for my adopted grandfather and she eventually left him for other men. I know that my Father was sexually active before meeting my mother. I know that they did not intend to have me as quickly as they did, I was not purposed by my earthly father. My Father supposedly was having multiple affairs on my mother. I suspect my mother ran to the arms of a man before the divorce was final. After the divorce and while he was single, my father had multiple girlfriends and sexual partners. Two years later he was married only to be divorced fifteen years later. I believe and understand that extra marital affairs were involved in this break up. Dad has been bouncing from one woman to another ever since. He has had multiple sex partners and has threatened marriage a couple of times. I believe dad is first a love addict and next a sex addict, while mixing in drinking and drug use. Read more
You Choose How You Are Going to Lose
Whether it’s cards, sports or life, there comes a point where we realize that we aren’t winning and that we have to choose how we want to lose. The same is true for those of us with a porn problem or sexual compulsion (or any kind of problem for that matter). The die may already be set; but, we get to decide if we want to lose by Going Down in Flames or be a Wise Loser. We make the choice. Read more
Do you want to quit pornography? Take this test
Instructions: Answer the first part of each of the questions below as honestly as you can with a yes or no answer. Write out any answers or explanations you may, if any, to the second part of each question.
- Are you ready to quit pornography for good; or, do you still enjoy your addiction to porno and find that some part of you wants to hang on to your addiction a little longer?
- Are you ready to do whatever it takes to be free of your sexual compulsions; or, do you have some conditions about what you are willing to do? Read more
Confession can help free you from porn
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16 (New International Version)
If you are caught in the grip of a sexual compulsion, one of the most frightening things we can think of is telling someone about our problem. We worry about the consequences. Some worry about losing their jobs, their marriages, their credibility, and their standing. We fear condemnation and judgment, most likely because we have been judging and condemning ourselves for a very long time. If we cannot accept ourselves, we are fairly certain that others will reject us too. We know that once the “cat is out of the bag” that there can be no turning back–that something will have to be done. Once we have the courage to admit to ourselves that we have a “problem” the next most difficult step is to actually is to confess to an appropriate person the things we have been doing. Read more
