How to control your thoughts
When you get down to it, the beginning of all problems associated with sexual addictions and compulsions begin with thoughts we carry in our minds. In our work here at the Purity Project, we meet a lot of people who have something in common: they find it hard to control their thoughts. Even when they are not acting out, they constantly have thoughts that are just as pornographic and lustful as the images they constantly view. While this is never a good thing, it can become a real source of frustration once one is ready to start recovery and wishes to rid themselves of these sexually impure thoughts. Today you will learn several simple ”thought stopping” mind hacks that you can use to take control of your thoughts. Read more
Assurance of Deliverance
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1st Corinthians 10:12
For each person there is a besetting sin. But for those of us who suffer from sexual addictions and compulsions, the lust of the eyes is one is the most tempting to us. Read more
What are your addictive triggers?
Addictive behaviors don’t just happen spontaneously; there are specific causes behind them. We call these addictive triggers. According to Dr. Archibald Hart, an addictive trigger is a “Starting Stimulus” that begins the process that eventually leads us to act out on our addiction. For those who struggle with sexual addictions and compulsions, these triggers can be very subtle. We may wonder why we find ourselves constantly noticing women in the cars next to us when we aren’t even trying to notice anyone, or find ourselves flirting with waitresses or cashiers for unexplained reasons. Without an understanding of the dynamics causing all of this, we will find ourselves being triggered from one episode to another with little or no control over what is happening to us. Triggers differ from person to person and from addictive behavior to addictive behavior. Often the roots of these trigger mechanisms can be traced to experiences we disliked as a child. Here are some common triggers:
- anxiety
- isolation
- boredom
- depression
- crises
- sense of failure
- unmet sexual needs
- criticism
- selfish needs
According to Hart, there are many other possible triggers for addictive behavior. In fact, anything that threatens failure, rejection, or abandonment can become a stimulus for an addiction cycle. Add to this the personality traits of passivity, under-assertiveness, or dependency, and you have a powerful set of addictive triggers. Read more
Sex and the Assurance of Answered Prayer
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
People who have sexual addictions and compulsions, such as the constant viewing of internet pornography, do so for a reason. They have an inner pain yet to be faced. Rather than examine what’s hurting on the inside, they medicate with sexual pleasure and live in denial about what they are doing. The longer they do this the more pain they create for themselves as grief, shame and blame mount up. Christ wants to heal our inner condition and stop the cycle pain we keep inflicting upon ourselves. He wants to replace it with the peace of God. Read more
The layers of a sexual addiction
I think we all know that we act out on our sexual compulsions because we have an addiction; but, there are four main layers to our addiction and sublayers underneath them. The four layers of our addiction are: psychological, emotional, physical and spiritual. If we try and self-treat our addiction we will find that it is more complex and complicated that we realized and our chances for success are very limited. Even if we do seek help, if we don’t seek to understand and treat all four layers of the addiction, we won’t succeed. Our lack of understanding of these layers is one of the reasons that most addicts have tried and failed so many times. Every addict I have known had quit a million times only to start back up another million times. Quitting was not the problem; staying stopped was. The purpose of this article is to overview each of these four layers. Read more
