What are your addictive triggers?
Addictive behaviors don’t just happen spontaneously; there are specific causes behind them. We call these addictive triggers. According to Dr. Archibald Hart, an addictive trigger is a “Starting Stimulus” that begins the process that eventually leads us to act out on our addiction. For those who struggle with sexual addictions and compulsions, these triggers can be very subtle. We may wonder why we find ourselves constantly noticing women in the cars next to us when we aren’t even trying to notice anyone, or find ourselves flirting with waitresses or cashiers for unexplained reasons. Without an understanding of the dynamics causing all of this, we will find ourselves being triggered from one episode to another with little or no control over what is happening to us. Triggers differ from person to person and from addictive behavior to addictive behavior. Often the roots of these trigger mechanisms can be traced to experiences we disliked as a child. Here are some common triggers:
- anxiety
- isolation
- boredom
- depression
- crises
- sense of failure
- unmet sexual needs
- criticism
- selfish needs
According to Hart, there are many other possible triggers for addictive behavior. In fact, anything that threatens failure, rejection, or abandonment can become a stimulus for an addiction cycle. Add to this the personality traits of passivity, under-assertiveness, or dependency, and you have a powerful set of addictive triggers. Read more
It’s time for radical amputation!
Here is a statement that may seem radical to some, “It is going to take a miracle for you to be free of porn and sexual compulsions.” Several years ago I probably would have scoffed at anyone who said such a thing; but, after being caught in a serious porn addiction for more than 15 years, I believe I am more than qualified to vouch for the truth of that statement. Quitting porn is a three-way partnership between you, God, and people who are trained to help you. Though there are things you can do, you will not be able to do it all on your own. And other people can’t do it for you. So, how does this three way partnership work? The answer is very simple: We must do all that we can do for ourselves so that God can work his miracles in our lives. The first thing we should do is practice accountability. The next step is radical amputation. Read more
