You don’t mess with pornography, it messes with you.
I read in the paper about the husband of a co-worker who is going to prison for at least six years. His crime was a natural extension of his long time addiction to pornography. He crossed a legal boundary and used concealed television cameras to spy on young girls. The man was a deacon at a local church. He had a respectable job, a lovely wife and beautiful children. His wife is devastated. His family is torn apart. To someone who doesn’t have a problem with sexual addiction, this man’s unlawful behavior is not only disguisting but totally incomprehensable. They ask, “How did somebody like that get to where he is today?” To those of us who suffer from sexual addictions and compulsive behaviors, we know that there for the grace of God, go I. Read more
What are your addictive triggers?
Addictive behaviors don’t just happen spontaneously; there are specific causes behind them. We call these addictive triggers. According to Dr. Archibald Hart, an addictive trigger is a “Starting Stimulus” that begins the process that eventually leads us to act out on our addiction. For those who struggle with sexual addictions and compulsions, these triggers can be very subtle. We may wonder why we find ourselves constantly noticing women in the cars next to us when we aren’t even trying to notice anyone, or find ourselves flirting with waitresses or cashiers for unexplained reasons. Without an understanding of the dynamics causing all of this, we will find ourselves being triggered from one episode to another with little or no control over what is happening to us. Triggers differ from person to person and from addictive behavior to addictive behavior. Often the roots of these trigger mechanisms can be traced to experiences we disliked as a child. Here are some common triggers:
- anxiety
- isolation
- boredom
- depression
- crises
- sense of failure
- unmet sexual needs
- criticism
- selfish needs
According to Hart, there are many other possible triggers for addictive behavior. In fact, anything that threatens failure, rejection, or abandonment can become a stimulus for an addiction cycle. Add to this the personality traits of passivity, under-assertiveness, or dependency, and you have a powerful set of addictive triggers. Read more
