Surefire ways to remain addicted to porn

Remember, the following is a parody of a serious problem. Take the opposite of what we say!

Now-a-days there are any number of websites giving advice on how to quit a porn habit. Though we are sure that these sites mean well, we think it is about time that someone or somebody writes an article to help the person who wishes to keep their porn and/or sexual compulsions intact. We must warn you that keeping a porn habit going over the longterm is a fine art and takes dedication. However, if you will but try, it is possible to keep this habit going for years upon years. It is with this in mind that the people of the Purity Project of Oklahoma City offer you ways to keep your porn habit always active. These have been field tested by our people who successfully used them for many years. Because we firmly believe in truth in advertising, we think it is only fair to warn you that when we stopped doing the things we describe in our article, our porn habits promptly went away. At the present moment, none of our members are under the influence of porn, so you may well need to take what we say with a grain of salt.

Always hold on to some of your materials

If you are to keep your porn problem alive, one of the first things you must remember is to always keep something pornographic nearby. We know that you are probably going be tempted to get rid of all of your stuff, but it is very important that you not get rid of everything at once. We have found that if you hang on a little something, you’ll always have it nearby when you need it once again.

I have a personal testimony to offer. There were times when I would decide, “Okay, I’m determined to quit porn for good.” Then, I would decide to get rid of all the junk that was in the house and on my computer. But, within a few days I would find that my resolve was weakening! Imagine how relieving it was when I discovered that I hadn’t actually gotten rid of everything! I was always able to find an old video tapes and DVDs that I hadn’t thrown away; because, something as valuable as that should only be given to a friend who would appreciate it. In a pinch, there were those times when I had to use R-rated movies with juicy sex scenes. We all know that R rated movies don’t count as pornography; but, fortunately I had those laying around. These kept my porn habit going until I could find better stuff. I’m glad that I didn’t waste my family’s money by throwing away perfectly good DVDs, that the whole family could enjoy. And speaking of concern for my family, thank goodness I didn’t cancel the cable pay-per-view, HBO or Cinemax! Those channels were always helpful when my willingness to stay addicted to porn was waining. If you’ve made the mistake of throwing all of those videos away, there’s always something you can find if you rummage around in the garage for an old book or magazine.

Cut back a little at a time

All of us, at one time or another, will be tempted to quit porn outright! Our feelings go something like this: “Porn is bad; I need to stop; I think I will.” But remember, nothing will stop a porn habit faster than stopping altogether. We’d like to offer an alternative idea. Whenever you feel the need to stop porn altogether, just determine that you’ll cut back! Cutting back keeps you in the game and gives you the comfort of thinking that you are getting rid of the habit until you can come to your senses. The science behind this is very simple: Cutting back on porn is like saying you’ll stop having sex while you are in the middle of having sex. It can be done–but it’s not very likely! (And, let’s be plain here, porn is about having sex.) You either feed your sexual compulsion or you don’t. If you feed it, even a little bit, you won’t stop. Therefore, if you want to maintain a healthy porn habit, just cut back back your use until your appetite returns more fully.

Look only at the soft-stuff instead of the hard

Another way we all found was very helpful to maintain our porn habits was to resolve to cut-out the raunchy hard-core stuff and only look at tame stuff. Some of us decided that we’d only look at topless pictures! This is really an excellent technique. It worked this way. When we felt the urge to go on a porn binge, we just clicked the links that said “soft porn.” What we discovered was that many of those people in the porn business don’t seem to know the difference between hard and and soft-core pornography! We found just as much hard-core porn when we were looking for the soft-core as we did when we looked for the hard-core stuff. Follow? But, we all felt okay because we didn’t actually go looking for the bad stuff. No one in the world, including you, should fault us for looking at something you never intended to see in the first place! Most of our porn appetites returned when we allowed ourselves one last careful look so that we’d know what we would be missing once we quit for good some day.

Keep your computer in a private place

It is hard to keep a good porn habit going when the computer is in a public place where the wife, kids and their friends hang-out. We found it easier to maintain our porn habits by getting them out of these places. Since computers add clutter to the house, we feel they belong in an office or out of the way place. And since most of us need to use our computers to help with our work at home, we found it only made sense to keep our computer in a place where we could kick off our shoes if we wanted to. We feel you shouldn’t have to dress at home the way you do at work. And besides, we all need a place where we can be more casual and relaxed; such as a place where you can relax in your underwear if you want; or, maybe even get totally naked? And, since none of us want someone walking in on our private business, we believe it is probably best to keep our computer in a room that has a locked door.

Handle this thing by yourself

What derailed many of us from our porn problems was making friends who had quit or joining support groups. It would have been much better for our habits if we’d only maintained our original thinking: “I got myself into this problem I can get myself out. ” Seeking help will ruin a good porn problem. Seeking a private solution to a private problem can keep it going. Our problems were much stronger when we kept our problems to ourself. It was also helpful to challenge any thought that indicated we had a problem in the first place. Remember, it’s only natural to spend a lot of time with something you enjoy. There is no need to speak with a pastor, wife or support leader about any of this–they just wouldn’t understand. Remember, you’ll probably wind up dropping your porn habit if you start visiting a support group or talking with people who’ve left his all behind. No, the best thing to keep the habit going is to keep things the way they are until you can figure out how to solve this on your own.

Do it only “one more time” before you quit for good.

So many times I was tempted to quit; and, I’m ashamed to admit that I discovered this technique quit by accident. The technique I am about to tell you was so successful for that I was able to quit my porn habit literally hundreds of times without really quitting it! Therefore, I highly recommend it to you now. Here is what you do. When you feel the urge to use porn, take a moment to examine your feelings. Have you done so? Good. You may be thinking that you should quit altogether. You know that you are ready to quit; but right now, you’re feeling all amped up and need to calm yourself down. You won’t be able to sleep or make it through the day in this heightened state. It is only logical that you calm yourself down first and then tell yourself that you quit for good. So, use the porn one last time and tell yourself that after you do so you’ll quit for good. This technique is great and it works every time. Like I said, I was able to quit porn several hundred times–without really quitting–using this time tested suggestion!

Keep the inner dialog going

If you keep the inner dialog continually going, you can distract yourself from actually doing something. Here are some helpful thought starters to pull you through the tough times and keep your porn habit intact: We all know that it takes time to resolve a situation. We mustn’t be impatient. Thankfully, God isn’t through working with us yet. It’s important that we don’t get all worked up because others tell us that what we are doing is a bad thing. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. We need to show ourselves grace when we fail. We have to realize we’re only human. All of us have needs and urges–it’s only natural. This thing will all work out in time and we won’t be doing this forever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blahhhhhhhhh.

Read your Bible more, pray more, study more

This is counter intuitive, but it is very helpful in keeping your porn habit going. Notice that we are not suggesting that you actually DO anything–just that you keep reading, studying and praying. I suspect that this was one of the most helpful tips I ever received for keeping my porn habit alive. It’s a way to have your cake and eat it too! Use porn, and then ask God for help. Pray more, read more, study more. Wait for God to do something. One time the power went out for me–and that was very exciting. Maybe for you he’ll intervene with a miracle or something. He just might send a thunderbolt to your computer and fry your motherboard; or, maybe he’ll miraculously put clothes on all the porn stars the next time you go looking for a video. A good prayer, after you’ve given in to pornography, helps you to realize how sorry you are and that you never want to do it ever again. Some of us in the Purity Project kept doing this going for 15 years or more. During this time we learned a lot about the Bible and kept very active prayer lives. Because we didn’t confuse praying and studying with doing anything we were all able to maintain our porn habits. Where some of us fell by the wayside was when we started actually obeying what we were reading. That messed up our habits big time.

Go buy a book on the subject

There are wonderful books we can read about our problem–if what we have is a problem at all! There are religious books, internet e-books, 12-step approaches, personal testimonials, psychology books, Dr. Laura, Dr. Who, and sure fire self-help books. There is so much information that I assume we can learn everything there is to know about this subject! Thanks to heavy reading, I personally learned about my id, ego, unconscious, conscious, adult, parent, child and inner muse. I learned about my inner-child, my wounded-child and my Peter Pan child. I learned that I was introverted, extroverted, and everything except perverted. I learned that I needed to feel that I was a part of the tribe and that I needed to break away from the tribe. I learned that I should be a warrior and that I should practice surrender. I learned that I needed to get religion and also that I should leave my religion. I learned that I should embrace my shadow self and that I should transcend it at the same time. I learned that I had a serious problem and that I didn’t have a problem at all. All of these books were helpful and kept my mind occupied for years on end as I tried one thing and another. Reading is rather harmless and won’t destroy your porn habit.

Mock those who tell you that God can help

I cannot tell you how important this is. All of us at the Purity Project in Oklahoma City fell by the wayside and left our porn habits for good when we started believing that God could help us. God is absolutely deadly for a porn problem. If you want to keep yours, remember to tell yourself that you don’t need God to help you with any of your problems. Keep reminding yourself that all you need is a little more discipline and to try a few more ideas. It would be helpful if you would direct your attention to religious hypocrites instead of true believers. Remind yourself that people who tell you that God has done for them what they could not do for themselves are needy, deluded, stupid, backward and primitive. And never forget this, all of us backsliders at the Purity Project of Oklahoma City totally ruined our porn habits once God became involved. When we turned to God, he didn’t let us go back. Be warned.

Conclusion

There you have it, ten good ways to keep your addiction to porn intact! We attest that each of these things work like magic. We all did them for many years with tremendous results. When we stopped doing them, our porn problem went away. Learn from our mistakes before it is too late.