It’s time for radical amputation!
Here is a statement that may seem radical to some, “It is going to take a miracle for you to be free of porn and sexual compulsions.” Several years ago I probably would have scoffed at anyone who said such a thing; but, after being caught in a serious porn addiction for more than 15 years, I believe I am more than qualified to vouch for the truth of that statement. Quitting porn is a three-way partnership between you, God, and people who are trained to help you. Though there are things you can do, you will not be able to do it all on your own. And other people can’t do it for you. So, how does this three way partnership work? The answer is very simple: We must do all that we can do for ourselves so that God can work his miracles in our lives. The first thing we should do is practice accountability. The next step is radical amputation. Read more
The one best thing to cure a porn problem
When I first begin to see the damage that was happening in my life due to my involvement with porn, I knew that I had to quit right away. I was convinced that porn was a bad thing in my life and I was ready and willing to stop. The problem was, I couldn’t stay stopped! To those who don’t have a porn problem it is hard to understand why someone can’t just stop what they are doing. It doesn’t make rational sense! I was once like them. I thought that once someone made up their mind to quit that they’d stop just like that. So, I made up my mind to quit “just like that” and it worked for a short period of time and then, to my dismay, I would fall away once more and become more involved with porn than ever before. I did this yo-yo thing for a number of years. It never worked. Each time I failed I became more miserable and frustrated with myself. What I have learned is that becoming free of porn is a tricky process that takes some time. I wish it could happen by resolve alone; but, I have learned that it doesn’t work like that. While there are many things that help one get porn out of their life, there is one thing that absolutely must be in place. Read more
Confession can help free you from porn
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16 (New International Version)
If you are caught in the grip of a sexual compulsion, one of the most frightening things we can think of is telling someone about our problem. We worry about the consequences. Some worry about losing their jobs, their marriages, their credibility, and their standing. We fear condemnation and judgment, most likely because we have been judging and condemning ourselves for a very long time. If we cannot accept ourselves, we are fairly certain that others will reject us too. We know that once the “cat is out of the bag” that there can be no turning back–that something will have to be done. Once we have the courage to admit to ourselves that we have a “problem” the next most difficult step is to actually is to confess to an appropriate person the things we have been doing. Read more
Accountability brings freedom
Accountability1
As men, we carry our pride like a badge of honor. We use it for a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem. We hide behind it when other people attempt to offer suggestions which, if followed, would require us to change our courses in life. We know better than anyone else what is best for ourselves. After all, we managed to bring ourselves to the place in life where we are. And we will do a fine job of going on to the next step. Read more
Where are you in the addictive process?
For those of us who suffer from sexual compulsions, we tend to feel isolated and alone. We do what we do in secret and don’t talk about it. We worry about being found out. We worry what is going to happen to us next. It remains our dirty little secret. What we would learn if we would begin to come forward and seek help is that sexual addiction is a highly researched area of study. Much is known about it and there are many places and organizations who want to help. You might be surprised how many are available in your community.
If you want to know what stage you may be in for your compulsive behavior no better description exists than the process outlined in the SA manual known as the white book. Those of us who have found ourselves in this addictive process can testify to its accuracy. If you resist the temptation to deny your problem, you can easily see where you are and where you are headed–if you don’t seek qualified help. The hope and prayer of the men of the Purity Project is that you ask us for help before you find yourself well along in this cycle. But, no matter where you are, we stand ready to help you. Read more
