How to Start Healing from Porn

ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

One of the hardest things for any of us to do is to admit that we actually have a problem, at least, I know it was difficult for me. My marriage was falling apart; I was looking at porn multiple times a day–sometimes for as long as four to six hours; I was staying up late at night and not getting enough sleep; I was constantly paranoid that someone would discover my problem; I was hiding tapes, files DVDs and magazines and lying about how I was spending my time–all the while feeling tremendous guilt and shame. Yet, in my mind, “I wasn’t sure that I had a problem.” That’s the power of denial. Read more

Enter the Narrow Gate

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.  Matthew 7:13-14 (New International Version)

In every broken person's life there comes a day of reckoning when we realize that our "Lives are out of control and that, using our own resources, we are powerless to stop acting out on our compulsions and addictions. For those who wonder how we got this way–Jesus offers an answer.  We chose the wide gate and the broad path.

Wide Gate Number 1: Escape

In the dealings of everyday life we are confronted with all kinds of problems and unpleasant situations that most of us have never really known how to handle. Some of these situations might include–not knowing how to handle members our family, feelings of inadequacy, work stress, toxic relationships,  negative self-talk, difficulty childhoods, failing marriages, and the list could go on and on.  As we go through life, these negative situations mount up and reap a cumulative toll on our emotional health and sense of well being.  The way that many of us chose to deal with these stresses was to seek escape in some activity that focused our mind. There are many different avenues of escape, and some, like the search for power, prestige, materialism and hyper-activity are socially acceptable.  For many of us, we chose to escape through pornography.  This provided us the needed fantasy that turned our  minds away from the problems we faced and provided short turn relief.  Soon our chosen method of escape became an addiction that only increased the stress in our lives.  Soon, our lives became unmanageable and spun out of control.  

Wide Gate Number 2: Attack

A second way of handling our stresses is to attack others.  Attack does not necessarily mean that we physically harm someone–it may also include verbal abuse, emotional abuse. litigation and character assassination.    It is not uncommon at all for those caught in compulsions and addictions to participate in all of these behaviors.  When we are caught in our insanity we mistreat those closest to us and drive away those who would challenge us to rethink how we live our lives.   

What is the narrow way?

When Jesus spoke of the narrow way–he wasn't speaking of something "narrow" in the sense of narrow minded or the absence of fun and pleasure.  He was speaking of a way of living that was full of rich experiences–an abundant life.  It's like a vacation spot that is rare and beautiful and known to only a few.  It's like a special experience that only a few can lay claim to–like being an olympian or an astronaut.  When Jesus says that we should strive to enter the narrow gate, he's describing a life where we use His teachings to overcome the things that have been constantly alive in us and holding us captive to sin.  

Recovery is a way of traveling the narrow way.

Jesus said that he came to earth to "seek and save the lost."  This includes those of us who were unable to find our way in life–much less the narrow way!  Recovery is nothing more than taking the Gospel of Christ so that we might find the narrow way.  This path shows us how to stand in the gap by avoiding the traps of escape and attack by facing our problems through the power of Christ and His people.  God's spirit will show us how to identify what's alive in us so that we might hand it over to Him as we learn to live one day at a time.  The Purity Project invites all who are willing to join us on a journey of recovery and learn the joys of the narrow way.